Introducing Addyson

Comments by Josh. Continue at your own peril:

Three doctors, a whole gaggle of nurses, and one clueless father-to-be were crowded around the operating table. The clueless father-to-be was idly chatting with the anesthesiologist about bad movies and aeroplanes when he lightly tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Get your camera ready, we're cleared for takeoff."

That was all the warning I got before something erupted out of my wife's abdomen, almost exactly like the scene from aliens, except this alien was quite a bit cuter than your average flesh eating monster. Annoyed by the rude and thoughtless intrusion into her personal space, baby Addyson immedietely let us all know she wasn't amused.

"Now Presenting, in the bloody red corner, the reigning champ, weighing in at 8 pounds, 1 ounce, measuring 20.5 inches long, ADDYSON (something) CRAGUN!" (Ahhhhhh! Ooooh! the crowd goes wild!) "The champ was born December 1, 2009 at 1:25 p.m., and she has a vicious right hook!"

She sounded hale and hearty as the doctors quickly handed her off Steve Young style to the waiting nurses, who wiped her clean, sucked off the alien goop, and handed her off to the unsuspecting father. Needless to say, it was pretty incredible, and it all happened so fast I didn't even have time to be sick. I risked a glance over at Jessica and the ruptured plumbing as they were pulling out the placenta. I don't know if you have ever seen a placenta, but it looks kind of like that one thing...you know... the worst thing you have ever seen in your life. Needless to say, the baby was funner to look at than the carnage that was poor Jessica's stomach, but she handled it like a champ. Everyone in the operating room said she was just the sweetest (which we all know is true).

Still trying to figure out how to hold the alien, the baby and i headed over to visit her mommy. That was really fun, and we were both pleasantly surprised by how much hair she had.

The doctors didn't let me stay long. They shipped me off to the nursery with the baby as they went to work patching up my wife. That's when the real fun started (for me, at least. Jessica was already having one heck of a day).

The above picture is Addyson in the nursery on this inspection table thingy. In the delivery room, she sounded just fine, but as we headed to the nursery, and especially once we arrived, she wasn't breathing very well at all. She was taking sudden, violent breaths, and gasping and wheezing and generally acting asphyxiated. I had officially been a daddy all of 8 minutes and I was already having my first freak out. The first 7 minutes of her life had been alot of fun and wide-eyed wonder. That 8th minute was a bit of a roadbump.

Her breathing continued to get worse, and the nurse with me was obviously becoming very worried, though she tried to hide it, for my sake i'm sure. She might have fooled me if she hadn't called over another nurse and then started yelling for Doctor Dan, who had some fancy title on his name tag that had to do with infant respitory systems.

Doctor Dan arrived quickly and went to work, checking airways and her little nose and whatnot, trying to figure out why she was wheezing and struggling so badly. I studied his reaction, trying to get a feel for how bad it was, and I started to suspect it was getting pretty bad when he wouldn't answer my questions.

Cue daddy Freak out!

Doctor Dan and the nurses continued working on Addy, sticking catheter tubes up her nose and down her mouth, trying to suck out any obstructing fluids. At that point the Doctor theorized that maybe the tubes they had run down her nose in the operating room had irritated the passageways, causing them to swell up. I'm no doctor, but not breathing is bad.

Trying to remain calm, I watched the doctor break out some sort of oxygen mask thing, and if I understood his explanation correctly, it was supposed to circulate the air through Addy's respiratory system, kind of to jump start her breathing.

He stuck the mask on Addy and the little stinker didn't think much of Doctor Dan. She immedietely began fighting him off like a mini Evander Holyfield, so the doctor asked me to hold her hands while he operated the breathing mask. THAT was a bad experience.

I let the doctor work his magic for a minute, but the baby didn't appear to be getting any better. She was still wheezing hard and fighting for every breath, and she was courageously fighting both me and the doctor like a cornered mongoose.

Holding her little hands as she struggled for breath was just not cool, and since I don't know jack about doctoring, I opted for something I know just a little about. Given the situation, I wasn't going to ask the doctor to stop what he was doing so I could get my hands on her head, (I figured we could use all the help we could get) and I figured the good Lord would understand if I didn't let go of her little hands to fumble around for the oil on my keychain in my pocket, so trusting the Lord would understand if I wasn't strictly following protocol, I gave her a blessing. It was short and sincere and to the point. I blessed her to start breathing.

Doctor Dan briefly glanced up as he noticed me mumbling quietly to myself with my eyes closed. He either thought I was loony as a Jay Bird, or he knew what I was doing and didn't want to interrupt.

Maybe her condition wasn't as serious as I feared. Maybe Doctor Dan is the MAN and he fixed her with his breathing apparatus. Maybe our little fighter just decided to get with the program. Or maybe someone upstairs was just trying to keep me humble. Whatever it was, Addy started breathing better almost immedietely. Doctor Dan pulled the breathing mask off less than a minute later, satisfied she was doing just fine on her own.

Some people will tell you that you find what you expect to find. Some people might try to tell you I attributed her breathing to Divine Intervention when it was really science that helped her. It's an interesting argument, and while i'm certainly pro-science, I am even more comforted by the knowledge that God is in my corner when the chips are down. I don't know enough about pediatrics to know whether or not Addy would have been fine without the blessing. The doctor seemed competent enough and the nurses hovering nearby were being quite helpful. Maybe it wasn't even anything to be worried about in the first place, who knows? What I do know is that I I don't mind having a plan B.

Addy wasn't too happy with Doctor Dan or me after the breathing incident. I tried to hold her hand again once she was breathing and calm. She looked up at me for the very first time in her life, threw my finger away from her, and rolled away from me. Can you say BRAT! Very very cute brat, but still... little stinker.

Addyson and Grandma Cragun, enjoying some sunlight.

Do I looked freaked out? Unsure? Confused? Overwhelmed? Wondering what I had gotten myself into? Wrapped around her fiesty little finger? Take your pick...

Addy and Mommy, taking a breather after a rough day for both of them. Jess is tough as nails.

Cute little purple alien feet.

You might be wondering what all the boxer references were about. Well as it turns out Addyson can't live without her little hands right up next to her little face. Whether she's sleeping, eating, punching dad, or whatever, those little hands are going to be by her face, and heaven help anyone that gets in her way. It's kinda cute, and sometimes annoying.